♥♥♥ Islam & Parents ♥♥♥

Praise be to Allaah, and peace and blessings be upon His Messenger.

It is a duty on man to be kind to his parents, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“…be good and dutiful to your parents…” [al-An’aam 6:151];

to show gratitude to them in all kinds of ways, as Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “…give thanks to Me and to your parents…” [Luqmaan 31:14];

and to show them all kinds of good treatment, because of the command of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) to treat them kindly. The ways in which one can show them kindness and respect are many, e.g., visiting them, speaking kindly to them, lowering to them the wing of humility, giving them gifts, and so on.

When you go to visit them with the hope of earning reward from Allaah, this is a great form of worship. A son should not neglect this type of worship, and he should appreciate the joy that his parents feel when they see their son and spend time with him. He should not let his work keep him away from seeing his parents, because it is very important and precious for them to see their son.

If a person is aware of some negative things when he visits them, he can reduce these negative aspects, or cut the visit short and make up for it in other ways, such as sending letters, making telephone calls or others ways of keeping in touch and maintaining ties, like giving gifts, and so on. 

The rights of parents over their children may be summed up as treating them well in all matters, and behaving with them kindly as Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“And We have enjoined on man to be dutiful and kind to his parents”

[al-Ahqaaf 46:15] 

“And We have enjoined on man to be dutiful and kind to his parents”

[al-‘Ankaboot 29:8] 

“but behave with them in the world kindly”

[Luqmaan 31:15] 

Shaykh al-Sa’di (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: “be dutiful and kind to parents” means: treat them kindly in all ways, in word and in deed.

One of the most important acts of worship that the child is asked to do with regard to his parents is to obey them, to do as they ask and to refrain from what they tell him not to do. So if his father tells him to do something, he hastens to do what he is told, and if he tells him not to do something, he hastens to give it up, so long as that does not involve any disobedience towards Allaah and his Messenger, because there is no obedience to any created being if itinvolves disobedience towards the Creator. 

Then he can make du’aa’ for them and pray for forgiveness for them, especially when they grow old and weak and are in need of someone to treat them kindly and take care of their needs. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“And your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him. And that you be dutiful to your parents. If one of them or both of them attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of disrespect, nor shout at them but address them in terms of honour.

 24.And lower unto them the wing of submission and humility through mercy, and say: ‘My Lord! Bestow on them Your Mercy as they did bring me up when I was young’”

[al-Isra’ 17:23-24] 

24.Allaah has given examples in His Book of kind treatment of parents. Allaah says of His slave Yahya ibn Zakariyya: 

“(It was said to his son): ‘O Yahya (John)! Hold fast the Scripture [the Tawraat (Torah)].’ And We gave him wisdom while yet a child.

13. And (made him) sympathetic to men as a mercy (or a grant) from Us, and pure from sins [i.e. Yahya (John)] and he was righteous,

14. And dutiful towards his parents, and he was neither arrogant nor disobedient (to Allaah or to his parents).

15. And Salaam (peace) be on him the day he was born, and the day he dies, and the day he will be raised up to life (again)!”

[Maryam 19:12-15] 

As for after the parents who have died, the child can do many things, such as the following: 

1 – If he has wealth, and his parents were in debt, he can discharge their duty by paying off the debt for them. 

2 – If he has wealth and his parents had not performed Hajj, he may perform Hajj on their behalf, or pay for someone else to perform Hajj on their behalf. 

3 – He may pray for forgiveness for them and pray for mercy for them. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):   

“and say: ‘My Lord! Bestow on them Your Mercy as they did bring me up when I was young’”

[al-Isra’ 17:24]

Shaykh Ibn Sa’di (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: this means, pray for mercy for them, when they are alive and after they die. 

Tafseer al-Sa’di, p. 524 

It was narrated from Abu Hurayrah that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “A man may be raised in status in Paradise and will say, Where did this come from? And it will be said: From your son’s praying for forgiveness for you.” Narrated by Ibn Maajah, 3660; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami’, no. 1617.

 

Abu Hurayrah was appointed in charge of Madeenah by Marwaan. He lived in Dhu’l-Hulayfah (approximately ten kilometers from Madeenah) and his mother lived in one house and he lived in another. When he wanted to go out he would stand at her door, and say: Peace be upon you, O my mother, and the mercy of Allaah and His blessings. And she would say: And upon you, O my son, and the mercy of Allaah and His blessings. And he would say: May Allaah have mercy on you, as you brought me up when I was young. And she would say: May Allaah have mercy on you as you took care of me when I grew old. Then when he wanted to come in, he would do likewise.

We ask Allaah to help us to honour our parents.May Allaah bless our Prophet Muhammad [Alayhi salatu wa salam] and his Family and Companions, who are the best of people. Praise be to Allaah Who is overtaken by neither slumber nor sleep.