60 Ways To Win Your Husband's Love

Islam has enjoined upon the husband duties and rights towards his wife, and vice versa, and among these are some which are shared by both husband and wife.

These rights include:

(a) The obligation of obedience. Allaah has made the man a qawwaam (protector and maintainer) of the woman by commanding, directing and taking care of her, just as guardians take care of their charges, by virtue of the physical and mental faculties that Allaah has given only to men and the financial obligations that He has enjoined upon them.

Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allaah has made one of them to excel the other, and because they spend (to support them) from their means” [al-Nisaa’ 4:34]

(b) Making herself available to her husband. One of the rights that the husband has over his wife is that he should be able to enjoy her (physically). If he marries a woman and she is able to have intercourse, she is obliged to submit herself to him according to the contract, if he asks her. That is after he gives her the immediate mahr, and gives her some time – two or three days, if she asks for that – to sort herself out, because that is something that she needs, and because that is not too long and is customary.

If a wife refuses to respond to her husband’s request for intercourse, she has done something haraam and has committed a major sin, unless she has a valid shar’i excuse such as menses, obligatory fasting, sickness, etc.

It was narrated that Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: “The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: ‘When a man calls his wife to his bed and she refuses, and he went to sleep angry with her, the angels will curse her until morning.’” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 3065; Muslim, 1436)

(c) Not admitting anyone whom the husband dislikes. One of the rights that the husband has over his wife is that she should not permit anyone whom he dislikes to enter his house.

It was narrated from Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “It is not permitted for a woman to fast when her husband is present without his permission, or to admit anyone into his house without his permission. And whatever she spends (in charity) of his wealth without his consent, ….” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 4899; Muslim, 1026)

(d) Not going out of the house except with the husband’s permission. One of the rights of the husband over his wife is that she should not go out of the house except with his permission.

The Shaafa’is and Hanbalis said: she does not have the right to visit (even) her sick father except with the permission of her husband, and he has the right to prevent her from doing that… because obedience to the husband is obligatory, and it is not permitted to neglect an obligatory action for something that is not obligatory.

(e) Discipline. The husband has the right to discipline his wife if she disobeys him in something good, not if she disobeys him in something sinful, because Allaah has enjoined disciplining women by forsaking them in bed and by hitting them, when they do not obey.

The Hanafis mentioned four situations in which a husband is permitted to discipline his wife by hitting her. These are: not adorning herself when he wants her to; not responding when he calls her to bed and she is taahirah (pure, i.e., not menstruating); not praying; and going out of the house without his permission.

The evidence that it is permissible to discipline one's wife includes the aayahs (interpretation of the meaning):

“As to those women on whose part you see ill‑conduct, admonish them (first), (next) refuse to share their beds, (and last) beat them (lightly, if it is useful)” [al-Nisaa’ 4:34]

“O you who believe! Ward off yourselves and your families against a Fire (Hell) whose fuel is men and stones” [al-Tahreem 66:6]

(f) The wife serving her husband. There is a great deal of evidence (daleel) for this, some of which has been mentioned above.

Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah said:

She is obliged to serve her husband according to what is reasonable among people of similar standing. That varies according to circumstances: the way in which a Bedouin woman serves (her husband) will not be like the way of a town-dweller, and the way of a strong woman will not be like the way of a weak woman. (al-Fataawa al-Kubraa, 4/561)

(g) Submitting herself to him. Once the conditions of the marriage-contract have been fulfilled and it is valid, then the woman is obliged to submit herself to her husband and allow him to enjoy her (physically), because once the contract is completed, he is allowed in return to enjoy her, and the wife is entitled to the compensation which is the mahr.

(h) The wife should treat her husband in a good manner, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“And they (women) have rights (over their husbands as regards living expenses) similar (to those of their husbands) over them (as regards obedience and respect) to what is reasonable” [al-Baqarah 2:228]

New look! A Perspective^__^

‘New Look’ is to have a new appearance.‘New look’ is a widespread term today. It is mainly concerned with the outward appearance and how to change it.

However, it seldom refers to deeds and actions which enable both the woman and the man to create a new look for their lives by viewing life from a new perspective. Change is a basic feature in man's life, for permanence is only for Allaah The Exalted.Hence, man always tries to make changes in his life, including his appearance. Change of appearance has usually been known as ‘fashion’, which differs from one year to another.

 

To some, this New Look means " a change in the color of hair and hairstyle, the color of complexion as well as the style of dressing.” “Nowadays, the youth are afflicted with blind imitation and seek to have a new character through the New Look that is restricted to external change. They wear this absurd clothes which the western wears.The tight fitting clothes with revealing body figures and colorful hairs . I do not know how the external change can have a significant effect on life. It is the internal change that lasts and is more beneficial. Hence, the concept of a New Look should be viewed differently in a way that makes the change related, for example, to one’s lifestyle and way of treating others  (husband and wife).”

 

Some husbands  stress the necessity of having a New Look in marital life. It should not run monotonously, especially after few years of marriage when the wife needs to make even a simple change in her appearance inside the house. She should take care of her hair and grace as well as her way of dealing with her husband. The spouses’ burdens and responsibilities increase with the years of marriage and as they have children, and this necessitates change and renewal whether in shape or by visiting new places. Also, the husband has to treat his wife kindly and help her.  

 

It was narrated that Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: “The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: ‘Be kind to women.’”(Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 3153; Muslim, 1468). 

 

He should also change his lifestyle with her so that their life will continue without monotony and will continue in calmness and renewal.

 

Islam has enjoined upon the husband duties towards his wife, and vice versa, and among these duties are some which are shared by both husband and wife.

Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“and live with them honourably” [al-Nisaa’ 4:19] 

 Al-Qurtubi said:

It was also narrated from him – i.e., Ibn ‘Abbaas – that this means: they have the right to good companionship and kind and reasonable treatment from their husbands just as they are obliged to obey the commands of their husbands.

“Change has to be in man's character, acts and behavior by shifting his behavior to what is better in dealing with others, and by changing himself from selfishness and egoism to altruism, love of others and wishing goodness for them.”

 

A physician says, this phenomenon of changing ones appearance, “The normal person is satisfied with the shape and outward appearance which Allaah The Almighty has granted him, and he praises Allaah The Exalted for that, especially if he is not disabled and enjoys good physical health. Some people's raging desire to change their outward appearance is abnormal. However, those who suffered severe burns, for example, which led to the deformation of the skin of their body or their face, can have cosmetic surgery to maintain their psychological health and be able to face society and deal with those around them easily and without embarrassment.”

 

“If the New Look means changing and renewing one’s outward appearance and imitating the West in this regard in a way that does not suit our customs and traditions, then this is to be rejected. However, if it is an attempt to change and develop man to what is better, whether in his appearance or character, or if it aims at developing his skills, then it is to be accepted. If the New Look occurs in a way that suits our society, it will be beneficial in combating boredom and will lead man to develop his character and skills. It is important and necessary for a person to renew his thinking in a way that enables him to serve his religion and country.”

“However, many people do not prefer to make outward changes in their appearance. They prefer to keep the appearance with which Allaah The Almighty created them.

The Angels With Her/Him

The Angel With Her/Him

The honourable angels accompany the children of Adam from the day they are formed in their mothers’ wombs until the day when their souls are brought forth from their bodies at the time of death. They also accompany them in their graves and in the Hereafter. 

They take care of him when he is created 
 

 It was reported from Anas that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Allaah appoints an angel in the womb, who says, ‘O Lord, a nutfah (mixed drop of male and female sexual discharges)? O Lord, a ‘alaqah (a clot)? O Lord, a mudghah (lump of chewed flesh)?’ When Allaah decrees that it is to be created, (the angel) says, ‘O Lord, male or female? Doomed or blessed? What is his provision? What is his lifespan?’ And that is written in his mother’s womb.” 

(Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 6595; Muslim, 2646. This version was narrated by al-Bukhaari).


They guard the son of Adam

 Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“It is the same (to Him) whether any of you conceals his speech or declares it openly, whether he be hid by night or goes forth freely by day.

For him (each person), there are angels in succession, before and behind him. They guard him by the Command of Allaah” 

[al-Ra’d 13:10-11] 

The commentator on the Qur’aan who had the best understanding of it, Ibn ‘Abbaas, explained that the mu’aqqibaat [translated here as “angels in succession”] refers to the angels whom Allaah has appointed to guard man from in front and from behind. When the decree of Allaah comes – when He decrees that some accident or calamity etc. should befall him – the angels withdraw from him. 

 Mujaahid said: There is no person who does not have an angel appointed to protect him when he is asleep and when he is awake, from the jinn, men and wild beasts. There is nothing that comes to him but the angels tell it to clear off, except for that which Allaah grants permission for it to befall him. 

 A man said to ‘Ali ibn Abi Taalib: “A group from (the tribe of) Muraad wanted to kill you.” ‘Ali said, “With every man there are two angels who protect him from everything that is not decreed; when the decree comes, they withdraw and do not stand between him and it. A man's decreed lifespan is his protection.” 

The “angels in succession” mentioned in the aayah from Soorat al-Ra’d are what is referred to in another aayah (interpretation of the meaning):

“He is the Irresistible (Supreme), over His slaves, and He sends guardians (angels guarding and writing all of one’s good and bad deeds) over you, until when death approaches one of you, Our messengers (angel of death and his assistants) take his soul, and they never neglect their duty” [al-An’aam 6:61] 

 The guardians whom Allaah sends protect a person until the appointed time (of death) that has been decreed for him comes. 

The angels who write down hasanaat (good deeds) and sayi’aat (bad deeds)

 Every single person has two angels who write down his deeds, both good and bad, minor and major. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 

 “But verily, over you (are appointed angels in charge of mankind) to watch you,

Kiraaman (Honourable) Kaatibeen —writing down (your deeds),

They know all that you do”

[al-Infitaar 82:10-12] 

“And indeed We have created man, and We know what his ownself whispers to him. And We are nearer to him than his jugular vein (by Our Knowledge).

(Remember) that the two receivers (recording angels) receive (each human being), one sitting on the right and one on the left (to note his or her actions

Not a word does he (or she) utter but there is a watcher by him ready (to record it). 

[Qaaf 50:16-18] 

 The angel on the right records hasanaat (good deeds) and the angel on the left records sayi’aat (bad deeds). 

It was reported from Abu Umaamah that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “The angel on the left does not write down anything until six hours have passed after a Muslim does a bad deed. If he regrets it and asks Allaah for forgiveness, he casts it aside [does not write it down], otherwise he writes down one (sayi’ah/bad deed).”

(Narrated by al-Tabaraani in al-Mu’jam al-Kabeer, 8/158. The hadeeth was classed as saheeh by Shaykh al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami’, 2/212) 

Once we know this, the number of angels who accompany the son of Adam after he is born will become clear: four angels. 

 Ibn Katheer (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: 

 “The aayah (interpretation of the meaning): ‘For him (each person), there are angels in succession, before and behind him. They guard him by the Command of Allaah’ [al-Ra’d 13:10-11] means: 

each person has angels who take turns in guarding him by night and day, who protect him from evil and from accidents, just as other angels take turns in recording his deeds, good and bad, by night and by day. 

 Two angels, on the right and the left, record his deeds. The one on the right writes down his hasanaat (good deeds) and the one on his left writes down his sayi’aat (evil deeds). 

 Two other angels guard him and protect him, one from behind and one from in front.

 So there are four angels by day and four others by night.” 

 (Tafseer Ibn Katheer, 2/504)

 And Allaah knows best.

Prayer & supplication: Must it be in Arabic?

Prayer & supplication: Must it be in Arabic? 

Many of us speak little Arabic. Is it permissible to use one's mother tongue in saying our supplication during various stages of prayer? If the worshipper can say du’aa’ well in Arabic, it is not permissible for him to make du’aa’ in any other language.

But if the worshipper is unable to make du’aa’ in Arabic, there is no reason why he should not make du’aa’ in his own language, so long as he starts learning Arabic in the meantime. With regard to making du’aa’ in languages other than Arabic outside of prayer, there is nothing wrong with that, especially if that will make the worshipper more focused in his du’aa’.

Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah said:

It is permissible to make du’aa’ in Arabic and in languages other than Arabic. Allaah knows the intention of the supplicant and what he wants, no matter what language he speaks, because He The Almighty hears all the voices in all different languages, asking for all kinds of needs.

Majmoo’ al-Fataawa, 22/488-489.

Making du’aa’ in English or in any other language is permissible outside of salaah (prayer). But it is not permissible to say any part of the salaah in any language other than Arabic, according to the majority of scholars.

But if the Muslim can stick to Arabic in all cases, especially in acts of worship – and du’aa’ is an act of worship – that is preferable and is better.

Shaykh ‘Abd al-Kareem al-Khudayr

 

All scholars agree that anyone who offers prayers must read the Al-Fatihah and the Qur'an in Arabic. It is not possible to use translation.

If a person does not know the Fatihah, but knows another passage of the Qur'an, he is required to say in each rak'ah a passage of similar length to the Fatihah. If he does not know any part of the Qur'an in Arabic, he must learn.

If he fears that he would miss his prayers before he could learn, he should glorify Allah, using the well known formula: Subhan Allah, Alhamdulillah, La ilaha illa Allah, Allahu Akbar, la hawla wala qowwata illa billah.

The Prophet (salAllahu alayhi wasalam) used Arabic in prayer because he had to read the Qur'an in prayer and the Qur'an, Allah's words, is in Arabic. Any translation of it is not the Qur'an, but an explanation of its meaning. That translator may have to change the order of the original text in order to fit his text with the grammar into which he is translating. No one can change the order of the Qur'anic words.

Had Allah wanted the Prophet to offer his prayers in any other language, He would have told him so and would have made it easy for him to learn that language. But Allah wants us to use His Book in our prayer. As it is well known to everyone, His Book has been revealed in Arabic.

The majority of fuqaha’ say that if the non-Arab can speak Arabic, he should not recite Takbeer (saying “Allaahu akbar (Allaah is Most Great)”) in any other language. The evidence for this is that the texts instruct this particular wording, which is Arabic, and that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) did not do it any other way.

But if a non-Arab cannot speak Arabic and is unable to pronounce it, then according to the majority of fuqaha’ it is OK for him to say the Takbeer in his own language after it has been translated from Arabic, according to the statements of the Shaafa’is and Hanbalis, no matter what the language is. The Takbeer is remembrance or mentioning of Allaah, and Allaah can be remembered or mentioned in every language, so a language other than Arabic is an alternative, and the person has to learn how to say it in the other language. Abu Dawood reported that a man came to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and said: “I cannot learn anything of the Qur’aan. Teach me something that will suffice me.” He said, “Say Subhaan Allaah wa’l-hamdu Lillaah wa Laa ilaaha ill-Allaah wa Allaahu akbar wa Laa hawla wa laa quwwata illa Billaah.”

And Allaah knows best.
Islam Q&A
Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid