She is Our Queen ♥....and I am His Princess ♥_♥

 

Allaah has prescribed the best and most just of rulings, which bring happiness to individuals, families and societies. Hence He has prescribed rights and duties for every individual in society, so life will run smoothly and each person will know what he is entitled to and what he must do.  

The husband’s rights over his wife are great, and have to do with him, his wealth, his house and his family. Showing respect to the husband’s family, especially his parents, is part of showing respect to one’s husband and treating him well. When a woman does her duties towards her husband, she is obeying her Lord and has the hope of reward from Him. 


“Is there any reward for good other than good?’ [al-Rahmaan 55:60]

We should understand that differences are human nature; human beings are not all the same in terms of attitude, religious commitment, reasoning and behaviour. We should also pay attention to the fact that when a person grows older, their reasoning diminishes and they become childlike in many ways. We should also remember that we are dealing with our husband’s mother, and usually mothers-in-law feel as jealous of their sons’ wives as they would of a co-wife. 

Honouring our mother-in-law is something that is to be appreciated, and no one can deny that. Rather what we are doing is in accordance with Islam and common sense. By doing that we are earning the pleasure of our husband and contributing to the success of our marriage and protecting it against things that may spoil it.



Bear with patience whatever we see and hear from our husband’s family, and be wise in our dealings with them, especially with our husband’s mother, for by means of our wisdom we will be able to avoid many problems and we will earn their approval or at least put a stop to their ill will towards us; and we will also win our husband’s heart and please him.


Wisdom in our dealings with our husband’s mother means that we must speak nicely to her, praise her, pray for her, respond to her requests and be more concerned about her than she is herself, if she takes medicine, for example, or she has an appointment to visit a doctor. Gifts also play a major role in softening her heart and changing the way she deals with us.


But it should also be noted that we are not obliged to serve her or take care of her in the sense of it being an Islamic obligation. What we are doing is something that is mustahabb and is liked in Islam, and it is also kindness towards our husband. Perhaps if she realizes that we are doing something that is not obligatory upon us in sharee’ah, and our husband realizes that also, this will elevate our status in their eyes.

We have every right to have a separate house in which we live with our husband and children, and we have the right to privacy, if our husband wants us to live with his family, and he will not be disobeying his mother if he allows us that. The wise and intelligent man weighs things against the standards of sharee’ah, and gives each person who is entitled to rights his or her due, and he does not take away from one in order to give to another.   But if he can't afford to bring a house for us and the house of his mother is available , and she invited us and her son to stay with her since she is alone, then why not?


But despite that we know how difficult it is to live separately in many cases, especially in current circumstances when finding suitable accommodation, especially in the big cities, is very difficult to achieve. In this case the man must look at his circumstances in general with an open mind, so that he will not make things difficult for himself or for the people around him. Allaah has decreed proficiency in all things.

 A husband has to understand the reality of the situation with his mother, because this is causing us to be edgy, which is affecting our children. It may also be affecting our husband. Hence he should hasten to solve the problems in his household, and he should accept frank discussion with us in all matters. He has to bear the responsibility that Islam has enjoined on him, and he has to honour his family, which also includes advising them and reminding them if they do something that is contrary to sharee’ah. He is also responsible for treating his wife kindly and he is responsible for raising his children. He is in great need of someone who can discuss these matters frankly with him and help him, and we are the main support who can help him in all these matters.  

Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

 “And your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him. And that you be dutiful to your parents”

[al-Isra’ 17:23]

“And your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him. And that you be dutiful to your parents. If one of them or both of them attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of disrespect, nor shout at them but address them in terms of honour. And lower unto them the wing of submission and humility through mercy, and say: ‘My Lord! Bestow on them Your Mercy as they did bring me up when I was young’” [al-Israa’ 17:23]

We ask Allaah to guide us and set our affairs straight .We ask Allaah to help us to do that which pleases Him and to make us  among the woman who are righteous and devout  and to make us a happy family in this world and in the Hereafter.